How did these people get on this year’s Most Qualified Singles List?
Sound the heralding trumpets! The annual list of Britain’s Most Eligible Singletons was published by Tatler and, as usual, its reading is reminiscent of an Evelyn Waugh novel. Topping the list is Emma Raducanu, followed by the Duke of Westminster, followed by a posh Scottish supermodel who is “partially into performing her breakdancing turn,” the worm, “and dedicated to working on her charity. for mental health “. Presumably not at the same time?
Before working in magazines, I used to browse such lists: “100 Most Influential People in the Country!” “Britain’s Hottest Power Couples!” “56 people who manage to brush their hair before breakfast!” Then I helped write Tatler’s little black book list and realized how unscientific the process was. I would sit next to the social editor and we used to lounging on our desk chairs while browsing Facebook, shouting out the names of the men we had a crush on, who would go on the list just because that it meant we could invite them to the infamous Little Black Book Party.
Friends would often intervene as a joke, with insane barking entries (“loves his pet mouse, hates mushrooms and the District line”), though there was an unfortunate fallout a year when the social editor wrote that her roommate liked “the toad in the hole”, and they didn’t speak for several weeks when the list was released. The social editor thought it was a harmless innuendo; the roommate took it as an implication that she was fat.
Malicious journalists are usually behind the creation of these golden gangs. The “Bright Young Things” was a nickname much encouraged by the press during the Roaring Twenties, which repeatedly reported pinched police helmets and noisy treasure hunts across London. During World War II weary Britons were exhilarated by the newspaper details of “the whole of Happy Valley” and the murder trial of Sir Jock Delves Broughton. In 1975, a Harpers & Queen sub-editor suggested a play on the phrase “lone ranger” for an article the magazine would soon publish on pie crust necklaces and velvet headbands. After Prince William and Kate moved to Norfolk in 2015, their friends were nicknamed the “Turnip Toffs”.
The conditions of entry into such a group are quite subjective, but there are obvious imperatives: you have to be attractive, ideally rich, have a penchant for animals that borders on the strange and a total devotion to board games. In Kenya, after dinner, men lined up to squeeze, uh, through a hole cut in a sheet while the women sat on the other side, howling with laughter, guessing who was who. The religion of the Sloane Rangers, more modestly, was charades.
Any sort of connection to the royal family, however distant it may be (“he’s 73rd on the throne, being the Queen’s 49th cousin nine times distant”), is a plus. Tatler, in recent years, has made vague efforts to make his white list less embarrassing. In my day, I remember a long debate about whether Idris Elba should be selected.
Please don’t panic if you’re not on this year’s list, that’s what I’m saying. It’s an entirely random compilation of people graded between office discussions about who just got engaged and who has a new horse. And I never kissed anyone at the party, anyway. The goal, at the time, was to bring one of the Middletons up, but they never did, so it was usually the cast of Made in Chelsea and Nancy Dell’Olio. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere.
Household dilemma: how do I clean my latex catsuit?
What’s the most embarrassing item you’ve ever taken to the dry cleaners? I generally have a “no dry cleaning” policy for clothing. It’s expensive and a faff, and if an item can’t be clogged in the washing machine on a cold cycle, it doesn’t belong in my wardrobe, that’s my devil’s rule.
Before a Halloween party, however, I decided that a latex catsuit I bought a few years ago would make a suitably terrifying costume, so I pulled it out from the back of my closet. How to clean latex? I wore the catwoman-style laundry catsuit on her day off and draped it over the counter. “Kindness. It’s unusual,” the man said. Trying not to sound like some kind of deviant, I just said could it be back before Saturday. can outperform a latex catsuit, I would like to know that.